Shattered
» Filed under: Love, Life
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It hurts more than it did last time, almost six months ago. I really do love you, I still do. And I always will. You have no legitimate reason to be angry or to break my heart, even though I know you believe you do. Why lie to yourself and convince yourself it's the truth.. I will never understand. Nor will I understand how it all happened so quickly. I guess that's life.. Right? You don't understand how or why anything happens.. Only in retrospect do you realize how much these kinds of things shape you, for better or for worse. I don't want anymore.. I just want to be alone until I've fulfilled the necessary obligation of existing, for however long I'm meant to. Going in I was guarded, knowing that all good things must come to an end. A lesson I had learned a few months before. And now, coming out, all I can say to myself is "Why didn't you listen? You could have prevented it and instead, you're sitting here crying. You had the most beautiful time, but now you're paying it for it, and you only have yourself to thank." Perhaps this goes along with my love for self inflicting pain. But this pain hurts more than any others, including those of its kind. If only you would have believed me, on so many occasions, instead of believing your assumptions, which were based on a crazy idea in your head.
I really do love you, I still do. And I always will. |
Tuesday September 29, 2009 | leave a comment (0) |
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Truly madly deeply
» Filed under: Love
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Through a long string of coincidences, I've found happiness again. It's hard to determine where the string ends, but fate is amazing and mind-baffling in that way. I could follow it back to the middle of last year, but I think October 31st is when everything kicked off. It's just so...awesome, incredible, that this is where that string has led me. I really can't believe it. |
Monday September 14, 2009 | leave a comment (0) |
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Nothing left
» Filed under: Love, Life
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And then all of a sudden, the lights go out. You thought the storm was over but it's not.. |
Monday July 27, 2009 | leave a comment (0) |
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A step-by-step process
» Filed under: Love, Beauty, Friends, Life
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Everything is such a process.. Putting on your face, making friends.. Getting over someone you once loved. But by the end of the process, you're happy with the results right? That's the point isn't it.. To work at it and go through all the steps until you're happy with it? Well I've been working really hard. I've gone through all the steps: sadness, hurt, anger.. Now I'm at indifference. I feel like I'm close to the end. Just a little more time and I'll be okay. |
Friday July 17, 2009 | leave a comment (2) |
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Disconnect
» Filed under: Love
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The most beautiful person I know said that it's all in the mind. |
Tuesday June 16, 2009 | leave a comment (2) |
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I am the seeker
» Filed under: Love, Beauty, Photography
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"There are as many kinds of beauty as there are habitual ways of seeking happiness." -Baudelaire
The rose bushes in the backyard are podding. Even though this is their time of rebirth, they look deader than they've probably looked all winter. A torn petal, fading color, covered in cobwebs.. It's springtime; that unhappy and somewhat grotesque-looking thing is the seed, the start of life. I suppose, the way I'm looking at it, that's where the beauty is for me.
I'm seeking happiness after all that happened, but it hasn't really come to me yet. I thought I might have been doing something wrong (actually I was pretty sure I was doing several things wrong), but if that rose pod can contain beauty, then maybe there is no right or wrong..
I just have to learn patience and trust in myself. |
Friday June 5, 2009 | leave a comment (0) |
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Please don't touch
» Filed under: Site, Music, Love
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Hello again little world.. It's been quite a while since I've properly written here. This must be the tenth time that the site's been "reborn". Well, I've put way too much work into it this time round to quit after a couple weeks. Plus, my life and adventures have been blog-worthy as of late, what with all the travel and the exciting new things I'll be doing. So this time, the blog is here to stay. I'm quite excited about it..
Found this wonderful song today, have a listen and smile :)
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Tuesday June 2, 2009 | leave a comment (0) |
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